I would word this more kindly--you and your spouse are currently living an extremely modest lifestyle compared to your income, your income has significantly increased, and your spouse is genuinely excited about the possibilities this opens up for you. But I agree with this point. It's possible to live a very, very lavish lifestyle and have an upscale kitchen that satisfies an excellent cook without also having a scullery kitchen. It sounds like a lot of the cost here is customization for your family, which you won't necessarily get back if you have to sell the house, and that makes this riskier than I'd been thinking....Great points. My wife was an architect before becoming a SAHM, so she has experience, though it was in commercial space. We worked with an architect to draw up the plans, and she went through every inch of space with them. They were kind of annoyed by it, tbh. The money will certainly go into higher end finishes and custom builds (wife loves cooking, so we have a scullery kitchen in the plan, that sort of thing). The above ground is 4200 sq ft, and basement is at 1750. Houses around us are generally bigger than this.
I don't want to stereotype, but based purely on the wording of your posts, it's hard for me not to see this as a spouse seeing a money spigot turn on and running out to find ways to spend it all. You've been making great money for what seems like at most a few years, and all of a sudden you must have two kitchens, a home theater, and a gym? Maybe time for a conversation about the hedonic treadmill.
If you want this house, with all these bells and whistles you can't quite afford yet, save up for them! If you press pause for 1-3 years before you break ground you can still move in before your older kid enters middle school.
If you don't want to wait, agree with conversation about where you can reduce some of the spending. Also, if you haven't, I'd get quotes from another couple of builders; in my (second-hand) experience, they vary wildly. I have relatives who hit pause on a guest house on their property for ~2 years due to the initial builder's estimate, and are just now moving forward with a reputable builder that came back with an estimate that's half the first quote.
Statistics: Posted by a.s.r — Wed Jan 31, 2024 10:38 am — Replies 22 — Views 1956